Jerel Shaw
@jerelshaw

Sales and Compassion:  Hard to Envision the Mutuality

After my sister experienced devastating medical challenges last year, we weren't sure that she would come out alive.

While that family as a whole is gracefully aging, the truth is that the more you age the more you become at-risk for some of the serious illnesses associated with aging.  Yet, believe me, aging is not the absolute determinant in determining who gets sick or who dies- yes, age is nothing but a number, a times.  But that fact that my sister could could escape the long lineage of genes that have afflicted our family over the years (now of us can) there was little need to seek out a culprit.  Diabetes and high blood pressure, which are seen as heart-related illnesses have been rampant in the family.  So the real question was: What is the particular consequence - what is the name of the effect.

The story is long, but to make this particular entry short, the results of her medical emergency left both legs amputated and the need for intensive and indefinite dialysis.  Her spiritual and mental strength with support from family helped to keep her looking forward, which brings up the next challenge, aftercare.

Let me just say that it's hard to find good help.  Of course, several factors really are significant, including:  insurance coverage;  your wealth index; and the challenge of navigating through many different providers that are not all good.

While the public offers alternatives and resources, like medicare and medicaid, what was discovered was the degree of commoditization of human health - if there 's a dollar to be made.  The point, quite frankly, is that when something is commoditized, the sales pitch becomes the greatest ploy for determining a person's making a decision about their health and welfare.

If there is no genuine compassion (The love of many are waxing cold), than the product sold may be below standards, or it would be like selling a house to a person who can't afford it and not being accountable for the devastating results.

Unfortunately, this is what is going on the the health industry as initiatives like the "Affordable Care Act" sounds great, yet may not be all that great for millions.  Yet, just like health care in general, people are desperate the product.  When you are in dire need is when the non-compassionate salesperson can sell you wooden nickels.  Older Americans are at risk for all kinds of scams.

The biggest problem, in my opinion, is that you can't teach [a salesperson] someone to be compassionate, The problem is that if the salesperson is not compassionate (by being honest and caring) to some degree, then one devastation can turn into another, like 'lemon' car causing a head on collision.

First of many: Messages that shine through

While some see social sites like FaceBook, LinkedIn and Google+ having  monopoly on people interactions, the email, in my opinion, is still the most significant gateway for sharing.  It is probably being able to integrate the perceived leading social sites into the email mechanism is one of the smartest moves. Yet, once again, I join many others in being on some one's list for sharing powerful and thoughtful information. If I don't check my Facebook status from time-to-time, you can trust that I'll be checking my email, religiously throughout the day.

This is the first of many email transmissions that I will be sharing from time-to-time especially a it relates to both, the challenges and the goodness of growing older.  Just remember that t times authorship may be anonymous.  As as usual, you comments and sharing are always welcome.

LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!   As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of  myself. I've become my own friend..   I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before  they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer  until 4 AM or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish  to weep over a lost love .. I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with  abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.. And I  eventually remember the important things.. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not  break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken  hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will  never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have  my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever  etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about  what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I  like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could  have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert  every single day(if I feel like it).

 "The traditional retirement age of 65 is a thing of the past"

People retiring later may be easier for some and harder for others.  Most likely, it will be harder for most.  Based on current polling 'older workers' are settling in to the reality that they will. literally, have to work until they drop.  And this new reality would bring greater challenges to many, those who could barely make it to the the present legal retirement age, which is 67, where many retire involuntarily.


Take the case John and Mary.  The pivotal issue is physical stamina.  John has been lifting over a 100 pounds on a loading dock for the last 40 years.  He same company he started with is the same company he retired from. It's not that John isn't the same friendly guy hat this co-workers and management grew to love and respect over the years and that he hasn't lost that winning smile and that ear for listening to others problems, but you can visually  see that he's slowed down a little and has lost a step.  This is saying a lot for a guy who could hand wrestle and win hands down and lifted over 150 pound boxes even before the forklift became a mainstay in warehouses.  Today he would tell you that he has chronic back problems, multiple pinched nerves and can barely walk without pain.  His physical perseverance has paid off over the years, as his family could always count on him to put bread on the table and send four children to college.


However, the manual demands have taken a toll.  John not only retired out of necessity, but no one should be expecting him to be cutting any lawns for extra retirement cash.


Unlike Mary, who is a brilliant bookkeeper and has been the foundation for administrative tasks for a small insurance company for the same 40 years as John, she sat at a desk most of the time. She also dreamed of traveling and starting her on small bookkeeping service company when retiring.


If one is believe that physical expulsion over the years can be a base for determining how far and how much one can strive beyond the traditional and now threatened retirement age, you have a microscopic view of two people who have arrive at a different spectrum on the durability scale.


This is a simple thought in suggesting as policy makers are seeking ways to prolong the working status of older workers that they are able to recognize the many and different variables in making those decisions. While the physical argument is only one perspective, it is easy to bring other considerations to the table, like, mental capacity, safety, health issues, family issues and more.


I'm a proponent of  the idea that people should be allowed to work as long as they desire to and are capable of delivering the quality goods.  At the same time 'one size does not fit all'.  If it comes a time where it is compulsory to stay on the job until you're 80 or more, then government and business had better make sure that society can consume this shift without a eventful crisis ensuing.  They had better be prepared.  So  the question should not be 'is 80 the new 65', but instead whether '80 can be the new 65'?

Old and done

Most of the co-workers that I've been acquainted in diverse work places have at least one thing in common, they are all counting down to retirement.  Yes, that's a rap, it's true.  I the meantime, I always wondered what could and would become the measure of a person giving to mankind if he/she wasn't so occupied with retiring from the battlefield of employment?

Well trying to maintain an unofficial dairy to keep an update on those who got their wish for either an early retirement or traditional retirement (according to Social Security standards), the report is sobering.

There is Bob who reminded each and every one of us about his plans to sail around the world in his personal boat, worry-free.  Last I heard his life has been docked at the local government subsidized convalescent home. He is being fed intravenously and must often utilize a bed pan to stop from wetting in the bed.  Bob only retired 6 months earlier before his wife found him bent over trying to untie the rope that was holding his private boat to land.  His wife says that he sustained a stroke that left him incapacitated to the point of his present state.

While many would point out that Bob's case is an aberration to what one can truly experience in retirement, I wouldn't be too quick to scratch the argument that many retirees may not be entirely incapacitated, but, incapacitated they are in different degrees where most fail to live up to their retirement fantasies.

Just received a card from John and Mary who are now enjoying a 7-day cruise across the Atlantic.  They say the food is great.  Actually I had received  the card posthumously after John and Mary had returned to the states and I was able to personally thank them for remembering me.  They seemed a  little stunned as if they didn't recalled sending any card. Of course they were coming out of a social services office.  I asked a passer-by what social services were being offered there.  They replied mostly food stamps.  It may be a bit cynical as I reflected on their boasting about  the great food (7 days only) onboard that cruise of theirs and later being short on food when they returned to dry land.

More an more, I'm seeing older people becoming disparaged by their dire circumstances--not all, but enough of them. I've seen and heard so many  dire situations for seniors that I've grown to believe that retirement is only a paranormal world to the world of those who remain gainfully employed or those needing employment.  Retirement has seems to have become simply a label or a fruitless benchmark for many who foolishly expect a life of infinite and worry-free bliss once leaving the dungeons of heartless work environments.  Not to say that one doesn't deserve the reprieve of many years of their dedication to hard work and service, but not many care to look at the bigger picture--the condition of the whole world.  And, not to say that many have no alternative but to retire because they are unable anymore to keep up with the daily grind demanded of the body and mind.  Maybe the real difference of the former and latter is the based on the words need vs. want.

One thing for sure is that as I continue to track the statuses of old acquaintances in the work-place, I'm learning that there is a growing consensus of many who have dared to ignore the traditional fantasies of retirement and are declaring that they would rather be old and done than old and confused.

Now kudoes should go out to those who seem to have made a smooth and yet rational transition.  The cruise ship and the sail boat are only a slight part of their  grand planning.  Realistically, those who are really continue to address life issues in retirement are no different than the those who are standing in life for employment opportunities--not forgetting that life will have challenges until life itself passe.

An Email for the ages

Sometimes nuggets found in some Email make you forget about newer versions of networking.  Check this one out from Richard.

Boy did this bring back memories......

Those Born 1930 - 1979:

At the end of this Email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If

You don't read anything else, Please Read what he said.
Very well stated,
Mr. Leno.
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO

SURVIVED THE

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's

And 70's!
First, we survived being born to mothers

Who smoked and/or drank while they were

Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,

Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in

Baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,

Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode

Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,

We would ride in cars with no car seats,

No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and

Sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day

Was always a special treat.

We drank water

From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,

From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.

We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.

And, we weren't overweight.

WHY?

Because we were

Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,

As long as we were back when the

Streetlights came on.

No one was able

To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps

And then ride them down the hill, only to find out

We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes

A few times, we learned to solve the problem.

Most of us even got a few "swats" on our butts at school then got some more
when we got home when DAD found out...

The teachers enforced classroom discipline.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.

There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,

No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,

No cell phones,

No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS

And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth

And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,

And the worms did not live in us

Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,

Although we were told it would happen,

We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and

Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just

Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn to deal

With disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law

Was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best

Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years

Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,

And we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?

CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others

Who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the

Lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives, for our own good!!


While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know

How brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run

Through the house
With scissors, doesn't it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with
the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'
For those that prefer to think that
God is not watching over us..
.go ahead and delete this..
For the rest of
us...pass this on.
A Small Prayer!

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you
let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
I need this back. If you'll do this for me, I'll do it for you.
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all
you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot!
All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent
you this.

Father,
God bless my friends in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she
seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen

Somebody else want you to retire

Not that you are gun-ho about retiring early, or retiring later, for that matter.  You've look around and all of  sudden it really doesn't make much sense with a depressed economy threatened with a double recession in three years time.  On top of that really you can't afford it.

Alas, someone else want you yo retire.  Yes.  You heard that right.  And, that someone is not your sons and daughters necessarily, who've seen you slave through the storms and rain over the years.  They are even working to find you a good retirement home somewhere in the country and are committing to visiting you, with grandchildren, at least twice a month.  But the truth is that they are not the ones who have the last say in your personal career journey.  Yet, not them, but someone else is systemically working to make sure that you retire early, against your will.

Who could that be?

It's your boss.  I bet you didn't recognize that coming even if you were well aware of the people in your workplace.  It's just that stuff don't happen for nothing.  Let's take a look.

The company that you've work at for over 20 years is downsizing.  Whether you knew it or not a clandestine list was created that targeted employees most vulnerable to layoff.  This was not whim decision, your name appeared on that planning list 3 years ago.  You just didn't know it.  Besides, you were only 58 three years ago and was making plans to go back to school to enhance your skills in order to compete for a better position in the company.  Well, you can still go back to school if you choose, but the company you had plans to work in don't care.  You are marked for the pastures.

Did you notice that mostly younger people (under 40) are being placed in the new openings.  Who ever mentioned that the company bragged about internal promotions in their recruitment material and even in their employee manual.  Yet someone said that rules are made to be broken.  Your situation is no different than many in you shoes-- your age stands for outdated.

Experience is nothing but a number according to the new boss.  It's not that you've being doing for years what your 20 something supervisor is learning.   It's that you're teaching your new supervisor the ropes.  You ask, why didn't they consider me?  But once again you're off target.  They did consider you (Didn't I mention the clandestine list?).  They have already figured that you should be approaching retirement age and there's no room for old (excuse me meant "older") workers even if they are more qualified, more healthy, more mature or even if they are historically responsible for bringing the company trillions of dollars with lots of satisfied customers.  No, forget about 65, 70,75 or 80, your kids have already found that home in the woods.  It's time for you to join those other old workers who are scurrying for food, medical, and rent money.

But, look at the larger picture.  You've got to quit one day.  No one can go on forever.  It's just that you don't get to choose that day.

Join the discussion on LinkedIn.

Dare to say "I'm not retiring"

Most Americans have been convinced that retiring from work is as 'American as apple pie' (Most of us) try to plan for it, expect it and actually proceed to do it no matter what.  However, More and more people are awakening to a not necessarily harsh, but real, reality--it's not a given to retire anymore.

This blog is dedicated to those who have evolved to this 'new' reality or those who are considering options.  Its success is based on input from those who can offer and share comments, expertness, experiences, and interactive support as many are trying to understand or come to a realization of the 'new' status on retiring yet it can be as daunting as trying to win the lottery or maybe as easy as counting from 1 to 3.  While this blog is not meant to debate the merits of retiring and spending those last sunset years in a little log cabin by the sea, it is profoundly clear that people have options.  Just attempting to redefine the meaning of retiring could be a colossal undertaking. 

As the facilitator, my position is that people should be of some use while tarrying in this temporal and physical matter called earth.  As long as we are earthbound, we have a purpose that rests in the paradigm of mutuality with our God, with one another and, most of all, with ourselves.  Once a human cease to explore their role of helping to beautify the world I propose that our existence takes on another layer of finiteness.  Please join in the discussion and help your fellow human to always be fluid in their earthly journey.